The Art of Surrendering

I believe in so many things.

I believe in honesty : being honest with myself, and those around me. Honesty goes beyond lying : its checking in with myself to be sure I am saying what I mean, that I mean what I say; its about moral fortitude like staying true to my essence even when circumstances make it impossible; its asking myself hard questions when I know I don’t want to hear the answers; it’s saying ‘no’ because saying ‘yes’ will mean another emotional turmoil.

In my 30s, honesty with the self has been the hardest and most uncomfortable part about growing, but a true game changer.

I believe in surrendering – to what I cannot control, to what I struggle with, to what I love, to what I enjoy, to every moment that I live, to life. But in surrendering, are we giving up or accepting?

A heart opener with a block. One of the hardest poses for me. The struggle is about finding that balance between accepting where I am, and putting a bit more effort, to get to a place of ease and least effort. Through this pose, I’ve learned to apply total surrender to the body, mind and soul.

Vasisthasana variation – one legged side plank, one of my all time favourite poses. It wasn’t always like this. In 2013, I was barely tree-posing the side plank. As with everything else in life, this pose has been a gradual process, a slow burner, and one that I have come to love, appreciate, as I develop more awareness about my body.

My Swaying Tree version of Vasisthasana. Its my favourite free form flow  side plank arm and core strengthener, where I dip my hips up and down, as many times as my body needs. Does it have an official name? I’m not sure. Do we need a label for everything? Can you give a name to everything, every situation? What purpose do labels serve?  

Tri Pada Adho Muka Savasana, Three Legged Dog: There are so many variations and options to this pose, each one having a different effect on the body. This version combines pointed toes, standing on tippy toes, and opening the hips slightly. You can’t see it here, but there’s so much tightness on the left hip where much of the sadness from the heartbreak lived. Through yoga, much of the blocked energy has started moving, the sadness has slowly subsided and dissipated, making space for renewed energy.

I believe that it is so important to immerse in all of life’s experiences as wholeheartedly as possible. For some, its YOLO. For me, its “Give it your all, or don’t give.”

I believe (so so much) in living with an open heart. Being afraid can be a positive thing – emotional vulnerability is a healthy barometer of our ability to feel. Of course, I also recognise that with this honesty, openness, and vulnerability, it brings about the possibility of immense heartache and pain.

But, given a choice between being vulnerable, being true to myself (and others around me) versus being scared of everything – of being honest, of pain, of heartbreak, of surrendering, of accepting, there is no life I’d rather live, but this.

“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.” ~ Paolo Coelho ~

The images were taken from a recent heart sequence I flowed to. In allowing the body to experience sadness, in acknowledging the physical pain that I felt, in giving my body permission to wallow in the heartache, I realised my body was expressing itself through various shapes and forms.

This chapter started very beautifully, without expectations. I learned so much from this experience – to always honour myself and be honest with myself, to learn to receive unconditional love and support, and to open my heart again, to not be afraid to love again.

I thank the Universe for giving me this opportunity to live this experience wholeheartedly, and with much love and fond memories, I close another beautiful chapter in my life.